Sing praises, Muse, of man who wears a mane,
who grows a beard magnificent and fair,
and grieve, O Muse, for man whose chin is plain,
who dares to scar his face and shave it bare.
A fuzzy 'stache and sideburns thick with hair
do form the very badge of manliness;
the warrior who wills to whiskers wear
rejoices in his face's shagginess.
Not so the blockhead who with barrenness
betrays a baby's chin, bereft and nude.
The consequence is sickly puniness
and for his senseless shave he's sorely screwed.
I beg all men to grow what beard they can.
A man without a beard is not a man!