Facial Hair, an Ode, by Isaac Brooks

Sing praises, Muse, of man who wears a mane,

who grows a beard magnificent and fair,

and grieve, O Muse, for man whose chin is plain,

who dares to scar his face and shave it bare.

A fuzzy 'stache and sideburns thick with hair

do form the very badge of manliness;

the warrior who wills to whiskers wear

rejoices in his face's shagginess.

Not so the blockhead who with barrenness

betrays a baby's chin, bereft and nude.

The consequence is sickly puniness

and for his senseless shave he's sorely screwed.

I beg all men to grow what beard they can.

A man without a beard is not a man!